Strange search strings – Best meth smoking lighter

Every now and then I answer questions raised by search strings that got here, normally sarcastically. But it’s a dreary and depressing exercise looking at those search strings because most of the questions are along the lines of “Why doesn’t he/she love me anymore on meth” and “hearing voices on meth” and shit like that.

So today I’ll look at this oddball question: best meth smoking lighter
Of course today there is no sarcasm at all in this post. No irony either.

Actually that’s even more depressing in a way. If you want to know what lighter is best to smoke meth with, you’re probably not yet an experienced user, because somebody who’s been using for a long time would never ask such a stupid question. This means you still have years of pain, suffering, and regret to look forward to. Ain’t that fucking great?

So who am I to deny you your self-inflicted Hell on Earth? Fine then… here you go: It’s not about what lighter you use or even whether you use an ordinary lighter or some kind of cigar lighter (that we used to call a burner). It’s about not keeping the heat of the flame too close to your meth pipe, which we called a “lolly” but I know there are other names, such as “pookie”. It’s about doing that, and rotating the lolly by turning it gently from side to side such that the meth remains liquefied while you pull (suck) on the pipe so that you inhale the fumes at the same rate as it burns. If you pull too fast, the hit ends abruptly or you might suck some liquid melted meth in your mouth; if you pull too slowly, some of the fumes escape out of hole at the top of the lolly and you waste the drug. Your aim should be to pull at just the right rate, which varies according to the heat of the lighter you’re using, so that you can take incredibly long hits and if possible, use up all the meth in the lolly in a single hit no matter how much that may be, especially if it’s not yours and some generous sucker handed it to you, some generous sucker you can fuck over. Because that’s what meth-heads do.

So, rookie with a pookie, in a way I hope you can follow my instructions above and fuck yourself up real good. Welcome to your life of pain.

Weird search strings that got here: Why does meth make men horny?

Just a quick one, and I know I haven’t written one of these for a while…

Why does meth make men horny?

First of all, meth makes everybody horny. I don’t know or care why, but it does. Deal with it, or be sensible and don’t do meth, because it does a lot worse than increasing your libido.

Another thing meth does is make people stupid when they’ve been awake for long enough. Stupid people ask the wrong questions. Why doesn’t matter. It does what it does. Why ask a question when you don’t really want to know the answer? (Yeah, I am being sarcastic because I don’t want that question answered. Fuck you.)

Do you really need to know? Do you really want to know how meth works on your brain, which neurotransmitters are involved, and so on? There’s a lot you don’t know, a lot you don’t need to know. You need to know that meth is a short term path to a great high, and a long term path to destroying your life, ending every relationship you have, losing all your possessions and maybe your mind, and leaving you with nothing. But by all means, remain oblivious to the way it effects you and wonder why it makes other people horny.

Thinking about this some more… I made some assumptions when writing this. I assumed that the person asking the question is a woman who uses meth, asking about a man who also uses meth, oblivious to the effects of the dug on herself.

I could be wrong about the situation, but probably not, because when we use meth, we think that our feelings like anger over little things, and our sexual desires, are normal. We see the effects of the drug on everyone else but think our feelings are “real”. They aren’t. If you use meth every day, you are under the influence of it all the time, even when you don’t feel high. Every feeling, everything you say and do, is directly or indirectly influenced or fueled by the drug.

The reason I could be wrong is that the same question could also have been asked by someone in a relationship with s user. If that’s the case, then my advice to you is get out. Give your partner an ultimatum and make them choose you or the drug. because as long they use meth, they are in a relationship with meth, not you.

More dumb searches that found their way here

It’s that time again, when I mock some idiotic search results that got here.

malice in meth terms


What the fuck is a meth term? If you use drugs, you get involved with shady people. Dealers and long-term addicts are often criminals, and if you want to use meth, that’s the sort of people you spend time with. Criminals are malicious. If you don’t like all the malice, try quitting the drugs, fool.

Also, get away from the computer while you are so high.

what if meth doesn’t make you horny?


If you find yourself in a position where you need to take something to make you horny, there is something wrong with you. i.e. You want to have sex. That means you are already horny. You’re confused.

You also need to learn that searching while high doesn’t work so well.

He doesn’t want to sleep with me when we use meth

You know the answer to that one. He is sleeping with someone else.

pornshoot director edit

There are loads of popular sites that stream porn videos for free, and they all have a search facility. In fact, Google searches them all quite thoroughly if you disable Safe Search… Idiot.


Learn to Google. It’s not difficult. If you find yourself reading random blogs that criticize porn while you search for porn videos, you’re doing it wrong…

Unlike the other two searchers, being high isn’t the problem. You’re fucking stupid. Too bad Dunning-Kruger guarantees you lack the intelligence to understand it. Stupid people like you will never know that you are stupid, because you lack the intelligence to understand just how stupid you are.