Strange search strings – Best meth smoking lighter

Every now and then I answer questions raised by search strings that got here, normally sarcastically. But it’s a dreary and depressing exercise looking at those search strings because most of the questions are along the lines of “Why doesn’t he/she love me anymore on meth” and “hearing voices on meth” and shit like that.

So today I’ll look at this oddball question: best meth smoking lighter
Of course today there is no sarcasm at all in this post. No irony either.

Actually that’s even more depressing in a way. If you want to know what lighter is best to smoke meth with, you’re probably not yet an experienced user, because somebody who’s been using for a long time would never ask such a stupid question. This means you still have years of pain, suffering, and regret to look forward to. Ain’t that fucking great?

So who am I to deny you your self-inflicted Hell on Earth? Fine then… here you go: It’s not about what lighter you use or even whether you use an ordinary lighter or some kind of cigar lighter (that we used to call a burner). It’s about not keeping the heat of the flame too close to your meth pipe, which we called a “lolly” but I know there are other names, such as “pookie”. It’s about doing that, and rotating the lolly by turning it gently from side to side such that the meth remains liquefied while you pull (suck) on the pipe so that you inhale the fumes at the same rate as it burns. If you pull too fast, the hit ends abruptly or you might suck some liquid melted meth in your mouth; if you pull too slowly, some of the fumes escape out of hole at the top of the lolly and you waste the drug. Your aim should be to pull at just the right rate, which varies according to the heat of the lighter you’re using, so that you can take incredibly long hits and if possible, use up all the meth in the lolly in a single hit no matter how much that may be, especially if it’s not yours and some generous sucker handed it to you, some generous sucker you can fuck over. Because that’s what meth-heads do.

So, rookie with a pookie, in a way I hope you can follow my instructions above and fuck yourself up real good. Welcome to your life of pain.

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