These are the top meth-related searches that got here in the last few days

Crystal meth causes pantyhose fetish?

(I added the question mark.) No, it doesn’t. The drug doesn’t cause you to have a fetish. A fetish is an attraction characterised by an object or action that isn’t itself of any sexual significance, and normally starts in your childhood. It’s mostly harmless, for example some men have foot and shoe fetishes. I have an odd fetish myself, in that since my childhood, I have been attracted to the sight of pretty girls smoking cigarettes. (I don’t know why I have the fetish, which preceded my addiction by many years. And it’s neither a blowjob fetish nor an oral fixation. It’s the actual sight of of a girl taking a drag or lighting up.) Anyway, many people have fetishes, and normally they aren’t a problem. I imagine a pantyhose fetish is quite harmless, assuming the pantyhose are attached to a pair of beautiful female legs…

Of course meth involves tweaking, which I define as an abnormal psychological fascination with something, and it could be anything. So you might very well tweak on your fetish. A fetish becomes harmful when taken to extremes or when the time spent on it is excessive.  Obviously, a sexual fetish that consumes all or most of your time with masturbation rather than actually having sex is not good. So is a fetish that causes you to have excessive and painful sex, or that involves something that may be harmful to you or your partner while having sex. That may very well happen when meth is involved.

What causes a human to hear non existing voices while on crystal meth?

(Again I had to add the question mark.) Nobody knows exactly what happens, but suffice it to say it is an effect of the drug on your brain, and something you should take seriously. I’ve written about this before… since I’m writing this offline and only saved the top searches text to disk, I can’t link to the post, but it’s there on the right, in the top posts section.

The bottom line is that once the voices start, they get progressively worse as long as you continue to use meth. The only way to make them stop, is to stop using meth. Not slow down, not use less, not take a break for a while – stop completely and never use again. The good news is that after you stop, the voices do disappear completely, and you can live a normal life without any permanent brain damage. (But the difficult part is stopping. You’re addicted to the state of mind that comes with tweaking, and even the voices in your head may not be a sign that you take seriously enough to consider cleaning up. They should be.)

Does meth change your voice?

Again, no question mark… Indeed it does.

  1. The most obvious change is when you are really high, besides talking too much, you talk in a funny high pitch. I used to think that my girlfriend sounded cute when we were high. I mean ten years ago… I have since changed my mind. We just sounded stupid.
  2. Meth makes you anxious and edgy, causing you to overreact to anything that might provoke an emotional response, and a whole bunch of things that shouldn’t. So meth users in groups often shout at each other. I have some neighbours (in a complex) whose behaviour the last few days/nights made it obvious that they were on drugs. I was one of several people to complain, and those neighbours will not be around much longer. (Good riddance.)
  3. With frequent use, instead of speaking fast or in high-pitched voices, later in the day or after being awake for a few days, you speak more slowly. You sound half asleep, lazy and stupid.
  4. A dry mouth, including dry lips and dry tongue, is common when using meth. (As well as dehydration in general.) This also affects your voice. You might tend to pronounce your vowels strangely, while speaking either in the fast high-pitched voice or the slow, drawling voice.
  5. You might experience random muscle “laziness” while on meth. This affects your tongue as well. I do not know how much of this causes the squeaky voice or the slow voice…

All of the above affect your voice when you use meth. Not all simultaneously, but three out of five isn’t unusual. So you may very well speak in a fast, squeaky voice while you have a dry mouth and a lazy tongue. It sounds fucking retarded, and doesn’t look much better, as you awkwardly express your verbal diarrhoea with dry speckles of spit on your cracked lips.

No energy while using meth

Meth takes a few days to deplete all the dopamine in your brain – at least it uses up the dopamine faster than your brain can produce more. When you reach that point, another hit can not keep you awake any longer and eventually you will fall asleep right there with the meth pipe full of meth in your hand. (And if you didn’t burn and melt the crystals against the glass, they will fall out. Then later you will tweak on picking up the bits of crystal off the floor or bed. Good luck, and I’m glad I’m not you. But I’m not always happy to have such a vivid and detailed memory of those years though.)

But anyway, meth never gives you energy. It floods your brain with dopamine, making you feel good, and feel alert. But you aren’t really alert. To an observer, a meth addict who has been awake for more than a day or two is incredibly delayed. You take hours to do anything – or more likely nothing. You become overly fascinated with doing some meaningless and repetitive task, and tweak on that task. You look like a zombie, as you waste all your time on pointless activities but feel energetic. (Make no mistake, that state of mind of being obsessed with whatever you are doing while you are delayed and tripping yourself stupid for hours on end, is what you call “energy”.)

So maybe you searched because you’ve reached that point where the meth can’t “wake you up” any more, but the sad truth is that meth never gives you energy. Even when it feels like it does, the reality is that you are delayed most of the time, you look like a zombie and an idiot, and you are probably a burden on everybody else in your life.

To conclude, this post contains several warnings about how harmful methamphetamine is to you. You would be wise to take these warnings seriously, and get help. Nobody offered me advice like this while I was using.

Everything written here is written from personal experience, and the consequences of my addiction were severe. I hate that I remember this shit so vividly. I hate having to identify as someone who was an addict. I hate constantly reminding myself how bad it was, because in a way, when I do so, it feels like I can’t let go of my past – even though I desperately want to put it behind me for good. On the other hand, reminding myself of all the bad shit helps ensure that I will never go back there again.