Sometimes the brightest light comes from the darkest place. When I first heard that phrase I loathed it, although I love the song and most everything else by Wayne Hussey, but lately I’ve been thinking that maybe it can be true.
My mother’s recent death devastated me. I’m still not over it, although it is getting better. Just yesterday I found her artificial sweetener used for tea and coffee in the cupboard and remembered how much I miss her curry. She made it differently to everyone else, having learned an old fashioned technique of dissolving curry powder in a little vinegar from her grandmother. The end result is that all other curry tastes powdery to me while hers was stronger, since the spices permeated deep into the meat. All this, I got just from opening the kitchen cupboard. There are so many little things that trigger sad (and sometimes fond) memories for me lately.
But there is one positive thing that has now come out of her death… I realize that I’d lost my way a little, in terms of my priorities – lost sight of what is important. Though I try to be a good parent to my son, lately I didn’t have enough energy left for him after going to work too early, and putting too much of my life into that. Work is a necessary evil. But putting everything into it? Putting your all into a job that enriches others where you get underpaid and a pat on the back for making them millions, but a reprimand for human error, putting in your all to be treated like little more than a slave… that’s no good.
I’ve reached a point where it is clear what is important. And what isn’t.
My son is important. He is the most important part of my life. I’d like to be there for his sister too when I can, but I’m not going further into that today. The point I’m trying to make is that family is important. Our loved ones should be our focus. Our time with them is limited and we need to make the most of the time we have. Treasure every moment because it can end at any time, and don’t waste personal time being a slave to anyone else making their fortune.
I’m not saying work isn’t important. It is. I will redouble my efforts to ensure that my work is the highest quality, and remain as helpful as I can to those with whom I work, but only within certain boundaries. The purpose of work is to earn money to survive, to finance my personal life. If work crosses over that line and interferes with my personal time, it has defeated its purpose.
From now on, my focus is on my family.