The new Iron Spider movie name probably has ‘home’ in it and who gives a shit?

I’m seeing this trending all over social media…

Am I the only one who thinks the new Spider-man sucks iron donkey balls? He’s supposed to be a loner, for fuck’s sake. Spider-man is a tragic and reluctant hero, who initially uses his power to get some money so he can impress a girl, who then doesn’t stop a robber who happens to go on and kill his uncle. So he’s consumed by guilt, punishing himself for being selfish when in reality he did nothing wrong. And to top that, he is manipulated by a narcissistic, overbearing self pitying whining old aunt who is annoying as fuck and expects him to do everything for her, but who will never be happy with what he does, no matter how much. When he isn’t saving somebody or unfairly being called a menace or trying to be there for his aunt, he’s brooding on top of a gargoyle somewhere as he bawls his eyes out. We relate to him because he’s every one of us, thrust into a situation where he gains incredible powers, and despite his best intentions, he gets nothing but grief for using them. But he’s a fighter. He never gives up – he throws out the sharpest and most effective sarcasm kind of defense anyone has ever heard, and he comes out on top, somehow. So we relate to him again because he doesn’t let the haters win.

At least… that’s the Spider-man I know, after growing up reading a lot of comics mostly from the 1970’s and the 80’s. Nobody has ever really captured that in a movie, but the previous efforts at least included some parts of the character I love.

But no… this Spider-man with a magic costume from Iron Man… he’s something else. Not a bad character although not much of an actor to be honest – I’d rather see Zendaya as some kind of super hero because she’s way more talented. But he’s not and never will be much of a Spider-man to write home about, and I don’t care what version of the title they use.

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