Emotions in turmoil

Just a quick one to mention why I am not focusing on writing right now…

I’m on day ten of taking an antidepressant, and my emotions are all over the place. I seem to be swaying between emotional overload and detachment, and although I’ve had things I want to write, I can’t quite seem to find the words.

I’m caught between an emotional post I want to write, about Aishah’s abandoned teddy bears, and anger at her mother… for things like my mother’s missing wedding ring, Aishah’s tablet, my phone, my money… memories of Aishah telling me not to worry because Father Christmas would buy presents for all of us, and the way things were a few months ago when all seemed well on the surface but I ignored signs that something was not quite right about Megan. Maybe my depression was always there, and my coping skills were messed up, having me lie to myself about some things to try keeping other things the way they were.

Normal writing will resume when my emotions settle down a bit.

One thought on “Emotions in turmoil

  1. You.ve been betrayed and let down, Jerome. And now the woman you invested so much in has deserted you and, of course, she took her daughter Aishah – and some other objects that are very important for you (for instance your mother’s wedding ring) – with her when she left.

    So it’s easy to understand that your emotions are in turmoil. She left you in total chaos. When there was no more money left to milk from you, when you didn’t show interest to join her in taking illegal drugs, her solipsistic and deluded brain recommended her to leave you.

    Don’t hurry to write new blog posts. You need time to calm down. Somewhere inside you there ought to be a lot of anger. In fact, you’re entitled to feel furious. Your intentions were so good. Nevertheless you became exploited and depreciated.

    No wonder you are depressed, Jerome. But i’m sure you’ll ride out the storm. After all you.re a survivor. You know it. I know it. .

    BTW, SSRI drugs don’t help all people who take them on a daily basis. But I hope they’ll help you.

    And don’t forget, Jerome, that time heals all wounds.

    Liked by 1 person

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