Stupid search strings

I haven’t done one of these for ages… Every once in a while, I look at the search strings that brought readers here and post snappy answers to the more stupid ones. Not that I should be chasing readers away… I don’t get many these days because I don’t write so often here. But so what? This post will be short…

How to give a blowjob on meth

Seriously? How do you normally give a blowjob? The technique does not change, though I am no expert because I only know how to receive them. If all else fails, take it out of your mouth long enough to ask the guy what he likes. It probably helps to ask him rather than the world wide web.

What’s it called when you hear voices on meth?

That, my ignorant friend, is commonly known as a hallucination.

Buddy, this is not something you should be searching the internet to find. Normally people try to find out why they are having hallucinations. Actually I lie… most tweakers don’t even know they’re hearing voices, and of those who realize it, many just search for “meth voices”. In fact, if you look at the comments of my most popular post on the subject, there are scores of delusional people commenting on how the voices are real. So if you actually realize the voices aren’t real, you’re one of the “smart” ones. Smart is quoted because it’s relative here. (In my book, if you don’t know what a hallucination is, you’re an idiot.)

… Just to be clear, hallucinations are things that you perceive with your senses that turn out not to exist in the real world. They exist only in your head. This describes meth voices perfectly, but maybe the problem is that you think of hallucinations only as things you see. That’s wrong, hallucinations can be auditory too.

 

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