I took part in an amusing Facebook comment thread the other day and I figured it would be a good point to use to express why I don’t make any effort to “get in the last word” on comment threads.
I’d shared an image, posted by an American conservative commentator (a woman) showing three young women wearing #HimToo shirts, with the question, “What is this shit?”
One man commented a couple of times, once with some asinine comment about facts, and another to say they have more balls than me. As I understand it, #HimToo is a response to #MeToo… It takes balls to frame victims as being wrong, and defend the abusers (men) who have the power? I’m sorry, but that makes no fucking sense. It doesn’t take strength to defend the strong and oppose the weak. Hell, it doesn’t take much to defend the weak against the strong either, especially for a white male like myself who isn’t directly affected… just some empathy and a little basic human decency. But at least I try. Seriously, it doesn’t take much if this is their response. Childish insults, really? I’ll feel threatened if someone points a loaded gun in my face. (It’s been done before. I was an addict and was at one stage involved with some dangerous people. It puts these things into perspective.) Some words on the internet somewhere are not going to get to me.
So I replied sarcastically to say something like the above, something about what #HimToo is and how it does not take strength to side with those who have power. And I saw via a notification that the guy commented again. Whatever for? When you’re wrong, you’re wrong. It doesn’t matter how many ways you rephrase your wrongness. It’s still fucking wrong, and to be frank, this #HimToo movement is obscene. So… call me weak for siding with feminists; tell me I have no balls, call me an idiot; I really don’t give a fuck. I said what I needed to say and my view is perfectly clear. I have no need to respond further. I’m not even curious as to what his last comment might be. It just doesn’t matter.
So that’s the way it is. If I stop responding to your arguments, you can feel good about it if you like. You put it the last word. Congratulations. But know this: Everybody who reads your nonsense arguments knows how wrong you are.
I spent some time on Google yesterday and read some articles to try getting an understanding of why people feel that they need to get in the last word. They all seem to agree that it’s about ego. But I don’t think so. It seems more like insecurity to me. If your argument is good and clearly right, nothing more needs to be said. You might feel like it gives you some kind of power to go on and keep commenting, but it really doesn’t. It only shows how wrong you are.
Edit: I really don’t like this post so much. It isn’t fair to #metoo to write about this and then make it all about me. This was supposed to be about why I don’t try to put the last word in, but maybe using #himtoo as an example was a poor choice? Perhaps I will try to write on that subject specifically, with the focus on women and victims, as it should be… Then again as a man I am hopelessly unqualified to write about feminism – I don’t think men can ever fully understand such issues, so this subject is really challenging to tackle in a way that does it justice.