Chemtrails version 2 are coming to a city near you!

It has come to my attention that our Reptilian Overlords™ have finally realized the folly of spraying us with their mind-controlling chemicals from 30 000 feet and higher. Oddly, the very persistence of these chemtrails, often touted as evidence that they exist, is one of their key problems. Namely that chemicals sitting up there at 30 000 feet are not being inhaled by anybody. And when they eventually do dissipate and reach the ground in some random place at the whim of the winds, all the chemicals have been broken down anyway. This is indeed an ineffective delivery system.

Fortunately for us, the lizards aren’t as smart as they could be. They haven’t realized that all they need do is modify some ordinary vehicles and attach the chemtrail dispensers to their exhausts, which would totally work. This would remove the need to somehow hide the chemtrail tanks in commercial airplanes and the logistical issues with moving, refilling and maintaining them, and they would also no longer need to compensate for the added weight and the unhappiness of commercial airline executives who are more concerned with the number of passengers they can squeeze into planes because that’s how they make money.

Instead, we proudly present Lizzie the humanoid chembreath dispenser. Lizzie is short for “Lizard”. Clever, eh?

Image stolen from Facebook meme. Source unknown. You know she is evil because her hair is red.

No longer confined to the implausible 30 000 feet, Lizzie is still bound by the same rules that apply to chemtrail dispensers. So just as their trails can only occur in places where you would find contrails caused by condensation of jet fuel water vapor byproducts in the cold air after burning jet fuel, Lizzies will only appear where water vapor in breath condenses in cold environments. But ground environments. That’s the plus. So these chemicals might actually reach somebody.

Next generation Lizzies will also be able to infiltrate smoking and vaping areas near you. You thought smoking was bad for you? Wait ’til you get exposed to the evil chemicals that control your mind, pushing you to think that you don’t matter and there is nothing you can do to make a difference in this cruel world. Even though you you don’t matter and there is nothing you can do to make a difference in this cruel world anyway. Apparently our Reptilian Overlords™ haven’t figured that out yet either.

5 thoughts on “Chemtrails version 2 are coming to a city near you!

  1. This is my first attempt at writing satire. Hope you like.

    FYI, chemtrails aren’t a real thing. The first reference to the word “chemtrails” in this post is a link to rational wiki which explains the conspiracy quite well. The post briefly includes some of the more implausible details about the conspiracy, hopefully in a way that’s funny to readers. If you’ve never heard of them at all, this post is probably just a bunch of nonsense. And by no coincidence, chemtrails are nonsense too.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This article explains very nicely why we see our breath when it is cold outside:

    The similarity between that and the formation of contrails is too much to ignore. Contrails are formed when the water vapor byproduct of jet fuel usage gets frozen into droplets at high altitude where it’s cold. In other words, the water vapor in breath forms little clouds in cold air, just as contrails form long clouds in cold air.

    So we understand exactly how contrails form and the logic behind this conspiracy theory is nothing more than people who refuse to listen to reason, because it looks like something more.

    I find this conspiracy baffling.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m just curious, do you belief in weather modification? I haven’t been on your blog in awhile and I’m looking at your posts and I get the feeling that you associate chemtrails with some of the reasons out there of why there are chemtrails e.g. the elites are trying to kill us all, the lizards underground are doing it blah, blah blah. Anyway, weather modification was started back in the 40’s by a scientist that worked for G.E., he figured out how to use chemicals to make clouds and produce rain. His intention was to sell this to farmers when there was droughts. Over the years many people have attempted and still do, try to control the weather. In fact the governments only involvement in it is you have to file permits and report all data back to them. There are numerous weather modification companies all over the world who contract their services out to universities or NSF or whoever wants to research weather modification and control. Each state has their own laws on the Rules and Regulations of weather modification. China even went on record to talk about how they cloud seeded before the 2008 opening ceremony of the olympics to ensure the skies would be clear. China also claims to produce rains also. So if you can look past the reasons why you believe it’s a conspiracy and look at the logical reasons for why chemtrails are real you might learn a few things.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We’re going to have to agree to disagree, OK?

      I don’t believe there is any evidence and clearly you do. Maybe it comes down to different ideas about what evidence is. I don’t know. But by all means, feel free to share you views and links to back them up if you want.

      I don’t want to argue or debate because I don’t think it will go anywhere, and I hate how debates often turn into name calling. We don’t need that shit here.

      Also, I’m going to try avoiding this subject for a while…


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