I had something serious in mind for today, but now I don’t feel like writing it… something that happens now and then. So instead, here is a subject that I find funny; a few of the silliest arguments I’ve heard for belief in god. I haven’t been spending time in atheist versus theist debate groups the last few months, but these are some arguments I saw there often, and one that was made to me in person.
1. No, recognizing the seven day week does not mean I have to believe in Christianity.
You’d be surprised how often this one comes up… Apparently, simply because I don’t reject the seven day week, that means I believe in Christianity. Well, there are a couple of problems with that:
- The seven day week was invented by the Mesopotamians.
- Many of the days are named after other gods that Christianity doesn’t recognize. For example, Wednesday is Woden’s Day, as in the Norse god, Odin.
So by the same logic that Christians use to argue that we should all be Christian, we should all be Norse, and all the religions of the other days of the week.
2. Exclaiming “God” during sex does not mean that you really believe in god.
Again, this one comes up surprisingly often. It’s almost like those who raise it can’t think for themselves.
So the argument goes something like: When you exclaim, “Oh god” during sex, it really means you believe in god. (But not just any god – the one the person making the argument happens to believe in, of course.)
So, by this logic:
- When I say “fuck”, I really do mean to say “sexual intercourse”. Well, sexual intercourse it, that doesn’t make any sexual intercourse sense!
- When I say “shit”, I really am talking about a pile of faeces?
- “Bullshit” too is then all about bovine excrement, rather than claims that are untrue. Who knew?
3. Christian names do not mean Christianity is the One True Religion, or even necessarily mean the person is Christian.
Do I even need to refute this?
People generally name their children using one of a bunch of popular names, that are trendy at that time. This is why we don’t all have a best friend named Mervin, or cousin Gertrude.
In fact, the popularity of names changes over time, and you can find interesting trends on this on the internet. It’s reasonable to assume that those trends aren’t dictated by your preferred deity, and the origin of individual names has sweet fuck all to do with its usage today. If you think otherwise, you’re stupid… I’m sorry, you need to know.
4. No, photosynthesis does not prove that your god is real.
This is my favourite stupid argument, and was stated to me by someone I used to know from NA, when I bumped into him in the parking lot outside work about a year ago.
After I told him that I didn’t believe in any higher power, he presented his (non) argument:
(Points at potted plant.) Do you believe in photosynthesis?
That was it. That was his whole fucking argument… Hold up complicated thing. “I don’t understand this. Therefore god.”
I walked away. There is no point in trying to get through to someone who has shit for brains. But I suppose the easiest way to refute that kind of idiocy is this… If you can replace the word “god” in your argument with “magic”, and the argument still works, you have a problem. In this case, “I don’t understand this thing; therefore magic”. It works. It’s exactly the same argument.
Just because you don’t understand something does not mean the explanation is supernatural. It doesn’t mean that you can leap to whatever absurd magical explanation you have already been taught to believe.