Since yesterday’s post was accidentally negative…
This year is going great. Josh is back with me, since last December. And he is happy to be back. He is where he wants to be. It has taken some adjustment to get used to being a parent to him again. I did bring up his sister for most of two years, but she is much younger than him, and being a father to an eight year old is vastly different to being one to a two to three year old. He had to adjust to living at home with me, and I had to adjust to learning to care for and guide him. He takes chances, sometimes lies, and he’s lazy so he needs to be nudged into doing his homework. He knows I will never give him a hiding, so he tries to push the boundaries that I put in place, but I’m in control and he knows that. And I am enjoying this role that was denied from me for so long.
It was difficult near the start of the year, coping with Megan taking her daughter, Aishah, to Cape Town. Although they moved out a year before, they were still close enough that we spent plenty of time with them. It was Aishah’s arrival on 4th September 2013 that gave me the kick up the arse, the motivation to clean up for good. And I love her as much as Josh even though she is not my biological daughter. So that has been difficult. I still call them every day, so Megan can say goodnight to Josh, and we can speak to Aishah. It’s not the same, but we do the best that we can.
My wish to have us all be a happy family together was a dream, maybe a dream that was always impossible… As it is, I am struggling to cope financially, what with debts I still have from my years of meth addiction, and having to house and feed myself, my son and my mother. Another adult and child would have been too much to afford anyway. But I am still sad because I miss Josh’s beautiful little sister every day.
Besides the finances, there are a few other things that I am unhappy about, but overall life is good, and will only get better from here.
I’ve also recently joined a gym and am making great progress there. I posted a light hearted Facebook share (which then got taken a little more seriously than I thought it would) about gym being my new addiction and my personal trainer being my dealer… But it is going well because I have a few shirts that I could no longer wear because they were getting too tight, that now fit well again. These last three years I’ve gotten way out of shape and overweight, and hopefully my physical form will improve enough for me to post some photos in a couple more months.