Songs take me back in time

I’d forgotten this, but around the beginning of the year, before Megan and her daughter left for Cape Town, we drove somewhere, with Josh on the front seat and Megan at the back… both of them singing along with the music playing in my car, which was Placebo’s Special K… I’ll describe the way I feel; you’re my new Achilles heel… Ba ba baa ba ba-ba-ba-bum…

Over a year ago, before Josh returned to live with me fulltime, he discovered the music in my car, and started his habit of requesting me to play certain songs. He also plays them on my home PC, even when I am not there. By now he has quite a few favourites. It was a mp3 CD with nothing but Placebo albums, and one thing about Placebo is they do have catchy lyrics.

Recently Josh discovered Meds, and has three songs he loves on there. It’s a surprize because I know I didn’t start listening to real music until I was around thirteen, and he is only eight. He loves the title track (Meds), as well as A Song to say Goodbye, and Post Blue.

While I love that my son enjoys the same music as me, he doesn’t realize the rush of memories I get each time he plays them. Post Blue was our song, mine and Megan’s that is… It’s the one I’d sing along with back in 2006 while on top of the world and having the time of my life at home… I’d break the back of love for you! It’s the one that blared out of my car speakers while buying meth from some guy named Jimmy in the middle of suburban Lavender Hill in Cape Town at 3Am on a workday, while no fucks were given.

These songs take me back, and maybe that’s why I have spent so much time reflecting on the past. I love those songs, but my connection to them is emotional. They bring it all back… Not a longing for the sex, drugs and complications, but for the happiness and the love I felt at the time. Those songs take me back, not to the bad times, but to the good times, which were over years ago. So they bring happiness and sadness, love and loss, longing and regret, all at once.

I’ll share them here, although I know nobody else will have quite the emotional attachment to them that I have.

There’s no video for Post Blue, but as always, someone uploaded it to YouTube with a still image. (Despite jerks like me who like to comment in random places: YouTube is for videos!)


And here’s the video for Meds.


I have a miserable anecdote about the first time I heard Cold light of morning, but I’ll save that for another day. But here’s Brian singing that one live:


About Jerome

I am a senior C# developer in Johannesburg, South Africa. I am also a recovering addict, who spent nearly eight years using methamphetamine. I write on my recovery blog about my lessons learned and sometimes give advice to others who have made similar mistakes, often from my viewpoint as an atheist, and I also write some C# programming articles on my programming blog.
This entry was posted in Addiction, Methamphetamine, Recovery and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Songs take me back in time

  1. bbnewsab says:

    Songs are able to unlock doors both in your heart and brain.

    Liked by 1 person

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