Again, I have no real time to write, but will spend a few minutes to write something quickly. (Though I’m getting tired of these easy posts that can be banged out in five minutes apiece. I hope whoever is reading them isn’t tiring of them too.)
It has struck me today that not only do I not have enough time to write, but I also can’t seem to find the time to read. What I tend to do is, whenever I find something interesting I want to read, whether it be an online article or a starting point to read up on a subject that I find interesting and would like to learn about, I bookmark it for later.
My list of bookmarks, disorganised as it is into two folders called “To Blog” and “To Read”, into which I add these links whenever I find them… now goes right off my screen. Actually I only added the “To read” folder last week because the other one has 85 unread links by now. Bear in mind that all those links are about things that I’m interested in, but know nothing. I only started the list recently, and it’s already daunting.
The older I get, the more I learn. And the more I learn, the more I know that I know very little. Back when I used to use drugs (and people occasionally bizarrely complimented me on my intelligence), I’d remark that I was only clever enough to know how stupid I was. These days it seems, I only know enough to get a glimpse of how much there is that I don’t know. And that’s a lot. I wish I had more time to learn all these things that I want to learn.
The latest interest is that a friend pointed out a link between Darwinism and socialism, and gave me some pointers on where to start reading. Socialism is one of those things that I’d like to know about, but know nothing. Also a cousin recently suggested that I get into philosophy. I know precious little about that too, but from the few excerpts that I’ve read, I really would like to read the works of Nietzsche, mainly because his views that I have read make much sense and resonate with me. My tentative opinion is that he was an insightful genius way ahead of his time, who predicted the secular society slowly being adopted by much of the world today. I have a lot of reading to do… but when?
Sometimes I do feel like a bit of an imposter… But is that the imposter syndrome, or am I really just realizing how clever I am not. Anyway, if you are like me; if you doubt yourself and your abilities/intelligence even when you’re doing well, you’re not alone…