I arrived at work early again today, and in those first fifteen minutes, that guy was chatting to me on Skype again. Even though it was between midnight and 1AM in Houston where he is, there he was, that guy, the guy who can’t stop using meth and asks me advice but then doesn’t listen. He reminds me of myself a few years ago, and I hope that one day he ends his love affair with crystal meth.
He wrote an open letter to crystal meth and asked me to proofread it before he publishes it. I will in a bit, but first I had to write this. What got my interest is that he refers to writing a letter to her, to Tina.
Why Tina, I wonder? I have a friend named Tina. She’s an adorable 27 year-old Taiwanese girl who works in the same building as me, and sometimes we chat on our smoke breaks. She’s really beautiful, but it’s almost an innocent kind of cute beauty. I associate her name with purity and innocence. Maybe a little desire too; but one that will never be pursued.
My point is, if I have to personify crystal meth, Tina is not a name I’d use. Not Megan either, because she is also clean. Maybe Nicole, maybe Kaylene, maybe Laska… I think I’ll stick with Nicole. (And no, I am not going to tell that story.)
She represents beauty and desire packaged in a petite and sexy teenage female form. I lust for her and once I get some, I can’t stop. Never. Not even smashing myself against the back of her vaginal wall until I blister and bleed will be enough. She is the crying out of pleasure and pain all at once. She is an orgasm of blood. To her I will give all my money, my heart and soul (if only I had one) and all my belongings, and once I have nothing left, I will take what I can from others only to give to her as well. She is forbidden fruit that I can never taste again, because one bite will set me on a path where I never want to recover again.
And I jest – I do have a soul. It’s currently residing at the Cash Converters branch in Hell, on a buy-back with Satan.
But seriously, if you had to name your drug after a person, who would it be?