Feeling numb

I’m feeling numb. After a good day spent with my son yesterday, I am still suffering with the sadness I’ve felt lately. It can’t be helped – there are a hundred and one different reminders of the little girl I grew to love and whom ‘round my life revolved. Everything is different now and I have all this time that I used to spend with her. Today I went to Edgars to buy a new pair of jeans, but everywhere I go there are others who have children around her age. Every child carrying a balloon is a ghost of her memory and every ghost of every memory is a wave of teary-eyed pain and melancholy threatening to drown me in a sea of sorrow.

I wrote this post intending only to share these mind-numbing videos I’ve been watching – more ghosts from my past when I listened to such music. Yet the words that flowed by accident above sum up my mood so much better.

Anyway, I stumbled onto these via reading a fellow atheist’s shares on Facebook.

 

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About Jerome

I am a senior C# developer in Johannesburg, South Africa. I am also a recovering addict, who spent nearly eight years using methamphetamine. I write on my recovery blog about my lessons learned and sometimes give advice to others who have made similar mistakes, often from my viewpoint as an atheist, and I also write some C# programming articles on my programming blog.
This entry was posted in Addiction, Methamphetamine, Parenting, Recovery, Relationships and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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